You probably expect me to rant on about my Christmas and the gifts i got etc. I won't do that and come to think of it, i've given you Blogville 'peeps' the wrong impression of me, i have written things that would convince any wise, sane person that i am infact a vain, materialistic girlie with zero personality. However, slightly close to the truth that may be, it's not all there is to who i am or are wanting to be.
In my time away, i've been on a journey to self discovery. Did it work? Have i discovered myself? Do i know who i am or what i want out of life? In french, the answer to that is Non! In english it is no!
However, i was able to realise that all the time i kept trying to find faults in myself, and faults in my life, i was missing out on the good. I may have nearly maxed out my account on shopping this month alone, but hey! I got really good things that showcase the new me. My very own unique style. As vain and as insignificant as that may sound especially if you're a guy reading this, it was indeed my very first step to self discovery. Also, I got a piercing and guess what? i did it by myself. It hurt like a....no swearing! But yeah, i did it, i did it all by myself not caring what anyone would think.
This year alone as we count down to the new year, i realise that i have made many mistakes this year and i still have no clue as to where my life is headed. However, i count my blessings too. I got accepted into the two universities to which i applied, i am constantly growing in my relationship with God and just today while sitting in the bath and just speaking to God with whom i also went MIA for a bit, i smiled with the realisation that happiness is not everything being the way we want it to be, it's not a good united family, it's not that boy that makes you go loco, it's not that girl who you think you can't do without, it's with you!
My eyes were opened to see that all this time, i was saddened over the little things in life that were affecting me and i could've sworn i was getting depressed, i had the power to say to hell with it, i will be happy. I'm alive and well; and because of that, i know that there is hope and with hope comes a belief in yourself that only you are in control of and one that is non-dwindling because if the whole world decided to abandon you, forget about you, you're the one person you can count on, isn't that a good feeling?
So count your blessings as we draw to the end of the year, be happy from within you, dont base your happiness on others because boy, will you be sorry! take it from someone who's been there. Enjoy the person that you are, celebrate it! If it takes you going on some retail therapy binging, do it! Get those crazy pants that make your friends go 'huh? that's ugly', who cares? no one dictates the rules except you. Whatever you do with these few days of the year 2010 left, be happy. Don't reflect on the 'could have, should have, would have' When we get to 2011, we'll deal with that.
Enjoy the festive season all! Stay blessed.
Sources of Photos
turntoislam.com
myspace.com
Special thanks to Amanda who reminded me i had a job to do. Thanks for being an avid follower!:)
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